Facing My Fears in Today's Church - Part 2

Fear-Facing.

Fear carries an angle in which Satan would just love to sneak into the kitchens, foyers and sanctuaries of our churches. He would use this angle to creep into our homes, restaurants and any brotherly gathering from Monday to Saturday as well. Our fear is used as a distraction, keeping us focused on social agenda, keeping us easily offended at one another, keeping us ready to do doctrinal battle with each other.

God, on the other hand, tells us in His word that power, love and self-control are from Him. Imagine a group of believers with just those 3 items...they’re a recipe for perfection! They totally stomp out fear. I ask myself, “When I think about the people at church, do I say ‘I thank my God every time I remember you’...or ‘Their love has given me much joy and comfort’ ...or ‘I appeal to you on the basis of love?’” I can think of many times I have had very little if no self-control during a conversation with a brother or sister in Christ. How can I even expect to see power when my self-discipline and care for those around me are currently performing so low.

There is so much community built upon love in Christ and so much destroyed by fear and pride. Church wasn’t meant to be defined by our services or our constitution. It was meant to be defined by Christ living through His people 24/7, being His hands and His feet; not only toward the lost, but toward each other.

Idle Coffee.

 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ESV

Something happily overlooked all too often, is the command to help each other out. We all have needs – physical, emotional, spiritual...etc. We have all gone through highs and lows and will likely always have that bumpy road to cruise on in this life. If we were designed to be “all good” on our own, God could have made a little island for each of us to make camp, however, God’s perfect design was not so.

You’re sitting across the two-seater table with your friend at the cafè down the street; you start to talk about life. As you sip your hot morning’s brew, you listen to her speak about her wonderful husband, children on the honour role and the topic of her daily devotional read. Isn’t this nice. You reciprocate by smiling and thinking of a few things going well in your life too so that you can return them in conversation. You want to keep this lovely mood that matches it’s partnered environment. Perhaps you chime in about the extra wait in traffic this morning and she might even admit that she burnt her dessert last night, but the topics otherwise consist of cordial pleasantries.

Is this picture depicting a strange resemblance to that of the church family life we see today? It is for me. Don’t picture only the four walls around the church sanctuary enclosing a large group singing a hymn, rather, think of the family you invited out for lunch after church, the elderly lady in the lodge that you visit because she’s too frail to attend services any longer, or the friend you talk to who attends the other church across town. Church family. We are commanded to carry their burdens! Are our services, our lunch dates, our visits filled just with simple and pleasant fluff?

Maybe your coffee date consists of bashing and trashing the person(s) not present. Maybe the friend across from you likes nothing more than to rag on and on about everything her husband did wrong this week or how her neighbour’s kids have been a terrible influence. Is this the image that comes to mind when we recall our social encounters with each other?

Scripture does not call us to grumble in order to temporarily alleviate some of our stresses. God doesn’t want us using our time on this earth tearing others down. We were meant to encourage and build one another up! We cannot ignore our burdens nor can we pretend that complaining is how you bear them. Idle chatter and/or gossip are both sins and are both not the answer.

What does bearing burdens look like?

When it’s time to share our burdens, it’s something personal or spiritually heavy on our hearts. Struggles in our lives that we battle in our mission to serve Christ, hardships we face in this life are tearing us down, something important on our minds that God is using to teach us.

The verb in this verse from Galatians 6 is “bear”.  

From the Greek bastazo: I carry, carry away, bear, to take up, endured

This “burden” is not just a weight. Figuratively the definition encompasses : what has value, : significance (from baros in the Greek).

We’re not only supposed to go out and sip a yummy cappuccino and confess our burnt pies while we know darn well that our hot water tank burst this morning and the basement is flooded. We aren’t supposed to sit there and nod while listening to our friend tell the tale of their neighbour’s burnt pie. We are supposed to share the heavy things in our lives that matter so that someone can help with the weighted load. We are to be an ear for the broken-hearted! Bearing the burden of another goes beyond the coffee shop and into their lives. It presents us with part of their load to carry and endure. This may not sound fun; it may sound allot like and investment with no promised return. This command is a command to the church, so that people like me don’t let selfishness take over and stop investing myself in those around me. If I pack the definition of church into the four walls of our building, we’re only going to be “church” on Sundays. It’s got to be lived out all week long.

The Strong Rope. When I first started thinking about my fears in today’s church, I looked at all the hurt and stress and thought to myself I want out. I know that God wants His people united, but I wanted a goal I could skip to, not have to press on towards.

 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12  ESV

Among my foggy thoughts of discouragement, came a clear picture of what God desires. He want us helping one another, encouraging one another, listening to one another, reproving one another in love. Being together, giving glory to His name corporately. If we would receive God’s power, love and self-control, we would overcome any storm of politics or any tornado of disunity that heads our way. Our rough patches in life would be comforted and our praises would be shared and rejoiced over.

I don’t want to be the believer that mocks the power of the Spirit, ignores the ones around me or flies off the handle when things aren’t seen my way. I don’t want to be the fray in the rope my Lord designed to be strong.

Conclusion. There are many aspects of today’s church to look at and many viewpoints one could describe. There are struggles that will always return, scars that will never go away completely, and fear always trying to creep in. This short journey has taken me through the biggest issues affecting me in my place of worship and has helped me immensely - reading, studying, writing and working out the truths within my flurries of thoughts. Facing fears about church has been a bold move for me personally.

 For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

Wise words. Words of promise. Words to claim! Words of truth – to believe!

People with fears in churches today are for real. There’s no denying it, it just is. In a dark and imperfect world, we are the light but imperfect as well. God’s word speaks to us about each other because He knew that we’d need some guidelines and helpful hints! Not only is our Christianity about our relationship with God, it’s about our relationship with each other as well – being that chord of 3 strands that is tough to brake.

God COULD zap away our fear...in fact, He could actually just zap us into robots that would just walk along the straight and narrow and it would be much less confusing...but my God doesn’t want a robot, He wants flesh and blood. He wants people with room for error so that when they recover from their mistakes there is a reason to throw a party!

This post is ending on the flip side of the note that it started on. As I typed out some of my struggles about church, I came to the conclusion that no matter what struggles we have or how imperfect we are, we are God’s people. Corporately “church” when two or three or more are gathered.

 Facing fears in today’s church = God’s people facing their fears with Him...together.

Facing My Fears in Today's Church - Part 1

Introduction. I grew up in a wonderful home. My parents were new believers when I came into this world and they set an enthusiastic example of parents creating a family beaming with love for Christ and buzzing with action that followed suit. Some of my earliest memories are things like dressing warm on a cold day to go door-to-door and deliver The Jesus Video with a group from church, my mother doing my makeup before our whole family went on stage to help with the Easter performance at the Jubilee auditorium in Edmonton, the whole family going to the church for kids club where my parents helped teach as my sister and I went with our appropriate age groups to learn. I remember having families and people from our church visit us in our home and us visiting them in their homes...and not on a Sunday! These fellow believers we saw at church became our close family friends we spent time with throughout the week too. In 1993, my Dad turned in his auto body business, hung up his coveralls and moved our family to Three Hills, Alberta to attend Bible school there. Five years later our family stepped into our very first mission church and started the “Pastor’s family” life.

When someone says “Pastor’s family”, I have two words to translate that: Fish. Bowl.

If there’s one thing the child of a pastor knows, it’s that everyone is watching. All sceptical eyes are on you in church and afterwards. There is no room for mistakes or ill behaviour, or that pink telephone sitting on top of the television box will let out a loud ring and the voice on the other end of the line will unleash devastation into your mother’s ear. I embraced my position as the goldfish and was generally a good child. I wouldn’t do this (in case someone was watching) and I wouldn’t wear that (in case someone didn’t approve) and I wouldn’t say it in that way (in case someone was easily offended).

Now, in reality, maybe I really shouldn’t do this or wear that or say it in that way, but my whole motivation for behaviour was entangled in a big messy fear for people-pleasing. Where were my thoughts of my Lord? My moral judgment was based on the scary faces that stared at me instead of my motives staring at the face of the Omniscient Judge. This has led to a life-struggle with my own motivation. There is no pleasing God in pleasing others, there is only pleasing God in pleasing Him, that other’s may see it.

Afraid to not please. Why is it that we as humans have this fear of not pleasing people? Or maybe even a fear of not making other’s think we’re the greatest?

Fear (noun) : an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feeling of being afraid : a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful (verb): to be afraid of : to expect worry about : to be afraid and worried

Fear synonyms: alarm, anxiety, dread, fearfulness, fright, horror, panic, scare, terror, trepidation, bother, worry, fret, fuss, stew, stress, sweat, trouble

Take a look at these definitions of fear. Anything words stand out? Try a few in the blank space below:

_________________________ in today’s church.

Not very fitting is it?

This is a fear with warn and etched corners that have done their share of digging into my peace and trust and my motivation. This is a fear that comes from not knowing what people will think or how they will react. This insecurity that sees us glance at the faces around us when we open our mouths in order to search for approval in their eyes and in their gestures. An ongoing strain to think of some witty word or educated answer to win over any face not offering the signal we were hoping for. This fear overtakes us as we stand in a circle of women after church, when an answer is asked for at Bible study or when we are pressed into a conversation in a grocery store aisle with an all-put-together someone who usually rubs us the wrong way. Some of us are great pretenders. We develop a knack for keeping conversation going, leaving no room for any retaliating words that may contain rebuttal. We learn to stand tall when our insides are shrinking. We master the carefree smile we need to wear to hide the huge weight inside that carries the troubles of our imperfect life. Others, however, may turn to criticism of everyone and everything around them, resourcing them as a step to stand on to look like they’re a head above the rest. Some turn to inward criticism that they dramatize for all to take notice in hopes that other’s will look on them with more pity than judgement. Some turn to inward criticism and don’t let anyone notice, leaving themselves as bate for the grizzly bear of depression. Despite the popularity of these strategies, none of these sound like any good  way to deal with the problem.

What is the right response when we find ourselves afraid? What reaction does Christ expect when this ugly facet of fear comes slicing through our day like the point of a perfectly-aimed dart by the evil one?

Gal 6:4 Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well and won’t need to compare himself with someone else. LB

Striving to do good without comparing ourselves to others is a toughie. Some of us will take the rout of looking at all of the wonderfully talented and smart people around us and crawl back into our hole of timid idleness, accomplishing nothing for ourselves or for God. Fear beats us down and makes us forget that we are Christ’s. We are children of the living God with God-given abilities that are far beyond our own.

 Others stuck with this fear will take the opportunity for a little self-boasting and decide to climb up on their high-horse, because in their eyes they’ve won the comparison and are ready to elevate THEMSELVES, and in Jesus’ name no less! A portion of these will be able to hide their fearfulness even from themselves with the chronic arrogance they carry, whereas the other portion are made up of fear-driven pretenders with fear driving them only to masquerade as qualified.
This comment struck a chord as I read it: “...It is very common for a man to look upon himself as wiser and better than other men, and as fit to dictate to them. Such a one deceives himself; by pretending to what he has not, he puts a cheat upon himself, and sooner or later will find the sad effects. This will never gain esteem, either with God or men.” (Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary)

Fear can drive us to pretend. Pretending to be an awesome, smart, talented Christian gets us nowhere.

Gal 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ – ESV

The word “please” here comes from the Greek word aresko, meaning : I please, with the idea of willing service rendered to others; hence almost : I serve. (Strong's Concordance)

This word gives the air of winning someone’s favour in meeting THEIR expectations (especially in moral standards).

The same word is used again in Thessalonians

1 Thess 2:4 But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts - ESV

The number one thing we need to get straight in our heads right now is that we are supposed to be pleasing our heavenly Father; not the people we pass on the street, not the pastor of our church, not the ladies organizing the potluck, not the parents of our Sunday School students. If our fear is driving us to try to make it on our peer’s moral level, we’ve got to cut off our objectives that strive to meet their expectations. Examine our motives! Dig way down into the truest part of our souls and ask ourselves who we really bother to give our service to. Service is great, don’t get me wrong...God wants us to have servant attitudes and actions...but (capital B-U-T!) He wants us to serve HIM and glorify HIS name. Maybe you are exactly where you’re supposed to be serving; you just need a focus adjustment to get God as your prime focus. On the other hand, perhaps as too many of us are, you have been so busy giving your services to please others in all of the wrong places that you’ve been ignoring the spot the Lord has been patiently waiting for you to come to all along.

In 1 Timothy Paul writes a beautiful letter to a young man. A letter to uphold him, encourage him, advise and instruct him. We read in chapter four Paul’s call for Timothy to be an example; a model for others to see. He is not called to please others, but to be a figure that is God-pleasing.

 1 Tim 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity - NIV

There is no denying that we are watched. I am not arguing that we have no reason to take note when we walk into a room full of brothers and sisters, sad as it is, that feel they have the right to analyze and judge the amount of goodness we are wearing. The point is, we SHOULD be putting on our robes of speech purged of evil, righteous conduct, unending love, unwavering faith, and genuine purity...but we should be wearing them for our King. There is no one else worth dressing in our best for.

Let’s try this one:

(Holy) Fear (noun     : a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful

 : reverence

...in today’s church.

It makes a perfectly fit replacement, doesn’t it?

Introducing My Pen

I am currently reading a book written by, the lovely, Beth Moore called Audacious. I recently went to a simulcast that she spoke at where my wonderful mother purchased a copy of a small book written by our captivating speaker. Inside the first few pages of this paperback treasure, I found these words utterly compelling:

            “So today I write. Maybe I’ll talk myself out of this my tomorrow but today I write.” ^{(Moore, 2015)}

Ever since grade school I have loved to write. My passion has driven me to compose many poems, songs, stories and thoughts from early on until now. For better or for worse, I love putting a pen to paper. I even find that passing through the stationary section in the department store requires all of my self-control to stroll through empty-handed and stick to my list, carefully composed of just necessities. In recent years my time for creativity has been limited by little time and big timidity. I’ve tried my hand at being a fictional author and even a modern-day blogger, but all too often I find the end of my projects under a pile of excuses and their continuation suppressed by self-criticism. I don’t want to write just so I can hear my thoughts echoed back to me. I don’t want to write to show everyone else my thoughts. I want to write so that God may be reflected in my thoughts.

The reference from the book above was so significant to me because I came to the realization that I don’t have to write for others; I don’t have to pressure myself into finishing a project to feel accomplishment; I can write for God and have the words that are written glorify Him no matter how long or short or finished. I can jot down thoughts that may never be spoken over coffee, songs that may never be sung in church, stories that may never capture the attention of a reader; but may my words honour the creator of the universe, my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

            So even among my chores and family life, and gleaning the words from my current paperback muse, today I write. Maybe I’ll talk myself out of this by tomorrow but today I write!